It needs to be shared with all that something happened during the course of my 13 years old child annual checkup. The doctor responsible for this checkup advised me that my parenting days will not be lasting to long. He extended on this warning by telling me that my influence over my teen age child will be considerably reduced.
Now that the child had reached the teen age mark his priority is more tilted towards his friends teachers, his doctor and parents position had fallen to fourth slot. This was a big shock, as I was not willing to leave my top position and fall back way down the line.
No doubt when I considered the matter in detail, I began to realize that the time I spend with a child had definitely reduced. With this reduction my parental influence stands affected which is definitely not acceptable.
To overcome the situation I have decided to bring to the fore the required parental habits that I had developed to sort out the dreaded situation and use the habits to become a part of my child’s formative years. The actions required are shared with all.
1. Have dinner together
It is essential to spend some time face to face with the children it must be remember that there are many things that compete and seek their attention. So to get noticed one essential way is to have at least one meal with them.
2. Do not use the phone during driving
This advice might not appeal to you in the beginning, yet it has to be given due importance. There is no need to feel guilty about making this habit a normal routine as moments spent in the car with the child are moments that can be spent giving the child total attention. So it is emphasized that putting away the gadget is much needed.
3. Give priority time to talk about the child’s day
It really pleases the child when you show interest in how he spent his day. By engaging him in this conversation you get the child’s attention and remember this will bring dividends in your closeness and relationship.
4. Do not hesitate to make physical contact
Psychotherapists all over the world recommend the need of physical touch. It is universally accepted that while four hugs a day are essential for survival, eight hugs help in maintenance and twelve hugs add to growth. Physical touch can include a scratch on the back, smoothing of the hair and many such touches of emotion.
5. Keep in touch with their technology needs
This is a fast moving world and in terms of technology the changes are quick and many. Incase parents do not keep themselves in line they are likely to become ignorant about things like the latest app. Such situation can upset the relationship, so stay in touch and know whats new in their technology world and ensure that you also know how to use the tech gadgets. This will also enable you to put limits where necessary.
6. Interact with their friends:
You do not have to intervene in choosing your kids friends. Having said this, you can at-least keep a track of who they are. As a parents you need to know what they are up to. So please get acquainted.
7. Let them experiment even if it means failure:
No doubt vigilance is important but do not let this become a barrier. You must give enough space to the child to try things. In this way they gain confidence, have faith in you and in the long term when it is time to let them go you do not feel dreadful.
As a parent it must be stressed that certain parenting habits have to be integrated in your system, much before your child reach is the teen age mark.